Mushaboom and Hundred Acre Wood

Once, I left her.

The reason was all about me, about my own problem, about my own selfishness.
It's me, not her.
I never thought it affected her, never thought I hurt her.
I promised to her to never do that again.

Then, something happened.

I changed.
this and that.
Suddenly I felt like a wrong jigsaw puzzle.
I started to running away. again.


It really is felt like 5 years ago, isn't it?

well, same like 5 years ago, I'm quite relieved that in her world, she got people who support her, and always loves her.
but, unlike 5 years ago, I know what I'm doing right now.
and no, I'm not leaving you.

Each one of us has their own path.
You take yours, and I haven't find mine.

The life I'm living right now is filled with days wasted and things I regret.
Yet even though, I'm quite glad that I'm living my own life, not masking out in a normal role that is not me.
I'm glad with every aspects of it, even the regrets.
I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want.

So, I'm sorry for all the abscences. Really, it's merely technical.
I have this brain glitch that won't let me fully enjoying days while there's still things to do.
and I'm too ashamed to show my face if I haven't done it.
You know what's still keeping me back, I'm trying to finish it as soon as possible.
Really soon.

All in all, I'm happy to know that you're happy now.
Later, I'll go visit you in your Hundred Acre Wood.


with all that love,
Merumerubozu.

picture swings at here